Friday, October 29, 2010

Thrashin' (1986)

In this totally tubular flick, Corey, a wicked skater, goes from having really porny conversations with this bird, Chrissy (who is a total Betty), to throwin' some truly sick moves on his board. Oh, and Chrissy's brother, Hook, is a major narbo with a rat tail. 

Suffice it to say (Suffice to say?), this movie is flash primo to the max.

In Thrashin', a gem of classic cinema, Corey moves to Venice Beach, California for the summer. He's training for a big downhill skateboarding race and, if he wins, he'll get sponsorships and pretty much be able to become a pro-skateboarder.

Corey's friends let him stay in their "Guest House" which is, doi, an RV.

Skateboarding is totally choice.

This is the villain of the movie. His name is HOOK. He has a Rat Tail. He cuts the sleeves off his clothing. He is BAD as in BAD BAD and not Good Bad. Also, for the first half of the movie, Hook was called Monk, and then he was Hook, and then Monk and it was never explained why.


Hook is so BAD, this man shakes his fist at the rag-tag gang called the Daggers, led by Hook.

So, one day, at the beach, Corey spots this girl:
Check out the bang wave.

Corey is like, "Whoa."

But, what Corey doesn't know is that girl, Chrissy, with the PERFECT 80s bangs is the sister of his nemesis.

All the skaters hang out at a skater bar where the Red Hot Chili Peppers play and act not at all like they know what drugs are (Just Say No!).

The bar gets really rowdy so Corey takes Chrissy's hand and they go running and laughing away from all the crazy moshing and youthful play going on inside.

When Chrissy gets home the next morning her brother is pissssssed.

To get revenge on Corey for dating Hook's sister, some of the guys from the Dagger gang throw crap on the surface where Corey is skating during a competition.
Really really not cool, dudes.

This movie is 20% talking and plot and 80% Cluuuuuuuutch! 

Some enchanted evening, in his RV, Corey and Chrissy are talking about his potential skateboard endorsement deal. He drew this picture to put on the skateboard he designs. He's really excited to show Chrissy:

Hang on, let me make that bigger so you can truly see Corey's work:

Yup, it's a naked woman in the clutches of a spider.

Upon seeing this drawing Chrissy says, "Do you want to be held like that?"
And Corey says, "Well, yeah."
And Chrissy says, "Do you want to be grabbed like that?"
And Corey, picking up that this is totally a scene stolen from the first three pages of a porn script says, "Yeah!"

This sex scene wasn't so much a sex scene as it was several minutes of cray cray. 
Owing partly to the fact that this song is playing throughout the scene, one feels rewarded! It's just that so many scenes in the first half of this movie seem sort of porno-rific that for the movie to actually almost go there is quite satisfying (but not like that).

After the sex, Corey takes Chrissy home (and somehow, her bangs are still perfect!).

Hook and his gang see Corey in their neighborhood and they FREAK OUT and chase Corey all over town.

Corey manages to get on a bus and Hook chases him.
In this charming ensemble, you too can be chic yet threatening. All for the low low price of your dignity.

Corey manages to evade Hook and the Daggers, so they retaliate by burning down the ramp that Corey's friends built.

The next day, there's some fighting and Hook goes totally house on some guy!
Corey and Hook decide to settle things with a JOUST. Which is a skateboarding duel.

Chrissy is all "Don't do it! You'll get hurt! What about your endorsement?!" 
And Corey is all "You don't understand!"

I would just like to take a moment to point out the high class and fahncy fahncy beverage choices of the Daggers.
They drink "Beer."

Hook prepares for the JOUST by applying really impressive eye makeup.

This reminds me of something:

So, in the JOUST the skaters go at each other with bags full of rocks. And they hit each other until something breaks.

This also reminds me of something:

The JOUST turns into an all-out fight and Hook breaks Corey's arm.

With only a few days until the big downhill race (which, if he wins, gets Corey a big endorsement/sponsorship deal), Corey gets to training (montage!).

Chrissy, because she was mad at Corey for fighting or Jousting or whatever, decides to leave town. But then she changes her mind and hitchhikes back to Venice Beach.

Meanwhile, the race is going on and people are wiping out all over the place!

Finally, it's down to Corey v. Hook.

When, ruh roh! Hook's stunt double takes a stumble and he's out of the race.

And Corey wins! Righteous!

Chrissy made it back just in time to see Corey win and get the endorsement. Then, Hook congratulates Corey. You see, they're cool now because Hook just wants his sister to be happy and also Corey is a sick skater so, you know, that's pretty ok.

The end. Let's jam. This Popsicle stand is full of Stellas and I've got some boss plans for my night.

Later days and Better Lays, ya Herbs.


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