Friday, July 23, 2010

Lucas (1986)

Lucas is a movie about an insect-obsessed kid who decides to go out for the football team. He gets to play, not because of his spirit or his talent, but because he is annoying and when he does get on that field, he totally fucks it up. So how in the world is this an Inspirational Sports Movie?

Because it has one of the greatest slow clap scenes..... ever.

Lucas is a 14 year-old who is quite the outcast. He's obsessed with bugs and he's intelligent beyond his years.

One day, Lucas meets Maggie. She's new to town and doesn't know anyone. It's still Summer break so she hasn't made any new friends yet. Soon, Lucas and Maggie become bffs!

Lucas educates Maggie about Locusts and how magical they are.

Friendship montage!

Lucas and Maggie spend every afternoon of the summer together and it's really nice and sweet.

First day of school! Yikes!

At the first day of school assembly, one of the football players drags Lucas on stage and he gets laughed at by the entire school. This particular football player is a real jerk to Lucas, always threatening to kick his ass and such. 

But there is one guy on the football team who is nice to Lucas. That guy is Cappy (as played by a very young Charlie Sheen):

After the assembly, Maggie goes outside to comfort Lucas and you see just how kind and supportive they are to each other (fyi: shit's about to hit the fan).

One day, Cappy is giving Lucas and Maggie a ride home from the movies, when they have to pull over because they've driven through a cloud of Locusts. While Lucas is working his "This bug is magical" schtick on the other kids, Cappy and Maggie get to talking and, uh oh, they seem to like each other...

Cappy's girlfriend (as played by Courtney Thorne Smith) is hip to the vibe between Cappy and Maggie. So she invites Maggie and Lucas to double date with them to the big dance. I think because she wants to ensure that Maggie goes as Lucas's date and stops moving in on her man.

So Lucas is super excited to be going on a date with Maggie because, duh, he likes her. 

But when he gets there, he finds that Cappy has broken up with his girlfriend and he and Maggie are going to get pizza instead of going to the dance. Lucas is CRUSHED. Because these two are his friends and they've just ditched him so they can go hook up a few hours after Cappy has broken up with his lady.

These two: so not self-absorbed.

You know, I'm not saying they have to put aside their feelings for each other just because one person may not want them to be together, but that's some pretty shitty friendship right there. I mean, you couldn't wait a day or two? A few hours? You had to let Lucas bike away in his tuxedo like that? 

Then! This guy bursts into the band room and says "It's Lucas! Suicide!"

And everyone's all "WHAT?!"

And he says, "He's trying out for the football team!"
He's so cute and little!

Jeremy Piven is in this movie too and the whole time he's a football jock and I'm pretty sure in every scene his mouth is hanging open and he's all "Uuuuuuuggh! Aahhhhhh, fooooottballlll!!!"

The principal is worried about Lucas's safety. He's decided to prohibit Lucas from playing football.

So, Lucas is pretty depressed. Two of his friends got together to break his heart and his attempt at making something new happen in his own life has been shot down. Maggie tries to, not apologize, but to explain to Lucas that he was important to her, but she needed more than one friend in this new town. Lucas is like, I get it, but that doesn't mean you had to be a jerk about it.

So it's the first game of the season and the opposing team's cheerleaders are quite.... salacious.

And the home team's cheerleaders are like,"sluts."

I love this little scene. Cappy's ex is giving Maggie some serious side-eye.

Lucas decides to suit up for the game and tells the coach to let him in. They get into a fight and Lucas calls the coach all kinds of names so, just to get him to stop being so annoying, the coach puts Lucas in the game.

Lucas goes on the field and everyone laughs and laughs and laughs at him.

Oh, Winona Ryder is also in this movie. Her character has a big crush on Lucas. She's known him for a really long time and she knows some information about Lucas that Maggie and Cappy don't know.

So, then, the big play. Lucas is the only one open and Cappy lets loose a Hail Mary pass.

For some reason, Lucas takes his helmet off, to see better, I guess?

But he catches the ball!

And then he drops it.

And the other team gets the ball.

But Lucas wants to show his strength and he makes a heroic play.

That results in major injury.

Maggie and Cappy and Winona Ryder drive to Lucas's house to tell his parents what happened.

Maggie and Cappy think this is where Lucas lives (because he told them that).

But Winona corrects them and shows them that this is where Lucas really lives. She tells them that his mom isn't around and his dad is an alcoholic. All information Lucas never shared.

So, everyone's lying to everyone. To be honest, that's one thing I like about this movie. It doesn't portray these teenagers as role models. They're fucked up just like teenagers should be.

At the hospital, everyone is waiting to support Lucas.

Eventually, just Lucas's closest friends are waiting. See, even though the movie focuses on Lucas's friendship with Maggie, he does have a nice crew of friends who love and support him.

Maggie and Lucas have heart-to-heart at the hospital. I couldn't understand a word they said because they were whispering the entire time and even with my face on the speaker I couldn't hear a word.

Lucas returns to school and sees the three guys from the football team who were the most abusive to him waiting by his locker.

They watch him as he opens the lock...

And finds a letter jacket inside!

And then, as it should be, the guy who was the meanest to poor Lucas starts the slow clap...

And Winona joins in...

And more people join in the applause...

Including Ken and Barbie...

Ahh, Lucas, I love ya.



  1. 1. major league. wild thing. how oculd you have missed that.

    2. tin cup. he blows the u.s. open... on purpose

  2. omg, young courtney thorne smith kinda looks like Lindsay to me. In that first picture, anyway.

    Is it totally ridiculous that I kinda wanted "hail mary" to link to new wave coffee's website?

  3. Love this movie.

    (You should add Varsity Blues to this list - "I DON'T WANT...YOUR LIFE!"

  4. That Charlie Sheen picture is #WINNING!

    I've never heard of this movie but I'm going to search for that slow clap scene.

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